Welcome back to Part Two of our interviews with our wonderful partner celebrants: Tara, Olivia, Fiona, Anne and Jennifer. Last time our celebrants told us a little bit about how and why they became celebrants, as well as their own personal styles of celebrantcy. Now, this time they’ll discuss first weddings, the most unique ceremonies they have conducted as well as give some advice for speaking in public! So do get comfy and settle in for a read.
Do you remember the first ever wedding you were a celebrant for? What advice would you give yourself back then?
Tara: My first wedding was a micro wedding in the autumn of 2020, so right in the middle of the pandemic with lots of restrictions attached. That said it was absolutely incredible and a ceremony that I will remember as it was the start of my Celebrant journey. I am a stickler for punctuality, but I think I arrived about three hours early for this ceremony, just in case! Now I will normally ensure I arrive at a ceremony about an hour or so ahead of time to ensure everything is all set up perfectly!
Olivia: Yes! I had only been training for a few weeks and was absolutely terrified. I loved every single second of it and the only thing I would tell the me then from the me now would be to breathe and enjoy it, this is the first of many ceremonies, and this is going to change your life.
Fiona: I do, it was an outdoor garden ceremony for about 60 guests for a couple that lived abroad, so all our meetings had been on zoom. In our enthusiasm to plan the wedding celebration ceremony, we didn’t discuss a plan B if the weather was inclement, luckily we had sunshine, but I made a note to always talk about and have a plan B in future.
Anne: Phew!, it was pretty nerve wracking, but I think I hid it well. Hahah! I would tell myself not to worry, because some time soon a guest is going to come up to you after a ceremony and say “You didn’t find this job, this job found you”
Jennifer: As I mentioned, my first ceremony took place on March 24, 2018, for Chris and Eunice, who is from Portugal. I began the ceremony in Portuguese, which her mum absolutely loved. Though I was extremely nervous, I managed to hide it—even from myself—and everything went well. If I could give myself any advice, it would be to avoid mixing up my verbs when speaking another language.
What is probably the most unique wedding you have been a celebrant for?
Tara: I was contacted by a couple last year who had met at the Gloucestershire Vintage & Country Extravaganza a few years previously. They both owned 1930’s military vehicles, which is a huge passion of theirs and they wanted to have a ceremony back at the place where it all began! So they completed the legal registration of their marriage a few days before and despite the biblical weather conditions, I was able to deliver an amazing and personalised ceremony for them surrounded by their beloved miliary vehicles. A ceremony I will never forget!
Olivia: That is tricky as honestly all my weddings are unique. A ceremony looking over the sea in Corfu was pretty magical but also a ceremony I performed for a couple from New York who chose to get married in an English castle during Winter.
Fiona: One of the most unique weddings to do was an intimate ceremony that was held in a drawing room of one of the Oxford colleges, it was just the bride and groom their children and 2 witnesses along with the couples’ parents, the ceremony was written around their deep love of each other and the family they had created and their strong connections to the college. They wanted everyone to be involved in the ceremony at some point, so we incorporated a ribbon hand tying ceremony which very specific colours that each of the guests choose, it was the most meaningful, inclusive, and beautiful part of the ceremony. The sun shone and after the ceremony they had a beautiful champagne tea on the lawn, it was very “Oxford” and very idyllic.
Anne: Probably a wedding after hours in a museum. It was a mixture of Spanish and Haitian cultures and suited the eclectic setting perfectly. The bride’s dad gave a blessing in Arabic and I gave the vows in Catalan (Google translate is my friend!).
Jennifer: I’ve had the privilege of conducting many unique weddings in remarkable locations: a private pod on The London Eye, a mountain in the Lake District, a chateau in Paris, a cliff overlooking the Atlantic in Portugal, and even on a boat on the Thames to name a few. My ultimate goal is to one day conduct a wedding on Planet Venus!
Weddings are filled with speeches, very nerve-wracking for people who are nervous about public speaking! What advice can you give to someone who will be speaking in front of a crowd of people?
Tara: Weddings can be a pressured day for all involved and especially if public speaking isn’t something that you do on a regular basis. I would advise to print your speech on paper that is really readable and not in tiny format. Rehearse, rehearse and rehearse a number of times before the big day. Try and enjoy the moment, everyone is there to support you and if it goes a bit wrong, it really doesn’t matter!
Olivia: Do not write it the night before! Write it in advance, go over it plenty of times before the big day and do not read it from your phone. Keep notes on the table to glance at but make as much eye contact as possible and take your time. You are making a speech at a wedding, not a ted talk at an accountancy convention, the people listening want to hear what you have to say and only wish you to succeed, so enjoy it!
Fiona: What advice can you give to someone who will be speaking in front of a crowd of people? I always do a zoom read through or rehearsal if I can, especially for those reader who have not read before. With over 20 years of public speaking experience, I take time to steady any nerves and suggest they focus on their breathing ( I have a few exercises they can do that really help) and project to the back of the hall.
Anne: Two things – (1) Remember they are with you 100% – they want it to be wonderful for you (2) Everyone loves it when things aren’t perfect, a few mistakes just add to the fun!
Jennifer: I’m actually very shy and an introvert and I’ve developed a few strategies to help me as a celebrant. My family and friends usually call me Jenn, Jennie, or JP, but when I conduct a ceremony, I transform into Jennifer. Jenn steps aside to take notes, and afterward, I reflect on how I can improve. Another trick I use is wearing my reading glasses during the ceremony. This way, I can only clearly see the front row of guests, while everyone else remains in soft focus. 😁
And to close it all off, what is your favourite part of the wedding day?
Tara: As a Celebrant it absolutely has to the ceremony and if a couple have chosen a Celebrant for their very special day, then I know that the ceremony is of utmost importance to them.
Olivia: When I say, ‘please be upstanding for the arrival of our bride/groom and their partner stood next to me at the alter looks me in the eye with this terrified, excited, emotional expression; it is an honour to be the person looking back at them just before they turn around to see forever walking down the aisle.
Fiona: I love to see the “first look” as the bride or groom enters, walks towards me and joins their partner for their ceremony. It is a moment filled with love, joy and expectation, I always have a tissue ready for them both too, as they arrive to meet each other for the start of the celebration.
Anne: The very last moment of the ceremony, when I present the couple as Mr and Mrs (Mr and Mr or Mrs and Mrs). Everyone goes crazy and the couple get hit by this huge wave of love. It’s a thing of pure beauty.
Jennifer: The vows are undoubtedly my favorite part of the ceremony, especially when the couple has written personal vows. The way they look at each other, as if no one else is there, with such emotion that you could hear a pin drop, melts my heart every time.
Thank you very much Tara, Olivia, Fiona, Anne and of course Jennifer for all of your fantastic answers!
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